THE BACKSTORY
It was 3:30pm last Saturday, during a long, podcast-free walk, when the realisation hit me like a ton of bricks: I've been self-sabotaging.
Normally, this isn't something I'd share online. But this time, I had no choice. Let me explain.
Have you ever tried to read a page of a book, only to reach the end and realise you have no idea what you just read?
How about spending hours at your desk, only to wonder where all that time went?
Well, that's exactly what I've been doing with my work. Sitting at my laptop all day, but spending half the time:
- Doing things that don't matter
- Getting lost in endless unimportant tasks
- Or just... not working
On the surface, it doesn't make any sense. Why would anyone want to spend more time at their desk than absolutely necessary? Why would we ever want to create more work for ourselves?
In my last newsletter, I broke down the issue of procrastination. But this goes much deeper.
For me, and I for many high-achievers like you, these illogical work habits are a coping mechanism. A form of avoidance.
- Working to avoid facing the reality that other areas of our lives aren't exactly how we want them to be (and having to deal with that).
- Working to cope with the fear of failure (after all, if we're working all day, then it's not our fault if we fail, right? We couldn't have done anything more).
- And finally, working to gain a sense of self-worth (because being productive and working hard is something we've all been taught to aspire to).
This avoidance is why I work, even when it provides diminishing returns.
For you, it might be the reason you just can't seem to stop scrolling on social media every night. Why you're stuck in the planning phase of your next big project or business. Or why you keep putting off that important conversation with your team or partner.
This isn't a way to live. And it's not the way that we have to live.
Let's explore the system I've been using to break free from this cycle.
THE BREAKDOWN
THE 4-STEP SYSTEM TO RECLAIM YOUR TIME AND SUCCESS
Step 1: Recognise and Accept
There's a reason I set the scene so vividly at the start of this email.
I couldn't make any changes until I realised what I was doing.
And that realisation required stepping away from my computer, away from distractions, and giving myself the opportunity to think and reflect.
Take a hard look at your habits and be honest with yourself about where you might be self-sabotaging.
You won't want to see it.
It won't feel good.
But recognising your self-sabotaging behaviour, understanding why you do it, and accepting it with compassion is the first step to creating lasting change.
2. Identify the 20% (Priorities and Needle-Movers)
Once you've recognised your patterns, it's time to get smart.
If you're cutting your work time from 10 inefficient hours to 7 productive ones, you have to figure out where those 3 hours saved will come from.
We have to focus in on what truly matters. Enter: the Pareto Principle
Ask yourself: What is the 20% of work that will create 80% of your results?
Start by listing out all your tasks and projects. Then, ruthlessly prioritise. What are the key activities that directly contribute to your most important goals?
For me, it was realising that endlessly tweaking my Instagram posts wasn't nearly as impactful as reaching out to potential clients or having meaningful conversations with my current audience.
Your 20% might be different.
If you're an entrepreneur, it could be closing sales calls, developing a new product, or nurturing key relationships.
If you're an employee, it could be completing high-impact projects, developing innovative ideas or building relationships within your organisation.
The key is to be honest with yourself.
Are you busy, or are you productive? Are you moving the needle, or just spinning your wheels?
This can apply to other self-sabotaging patterns too.
If you’re avoiding working out: rather than attempting to get to the gym every day, find the 20% of actions that create 80% of the results (this could be 3 high quality workouts each week).
If you’re using unproductive methods to cope with stress: start by eliminating the 20% of habits that cause 80% of the negative results (this could be drinking, eating unhealthy food, or taking your stress out on others).
Identify your needle-movers, and make them your top priority.
3. Shift the Mindset
We need to flip the script on how we think about work and productivity.
Instead of asking:
"How much work can I fit in? How long can I sit at my desk?"
Start asking yourself:
"How little can I work while still moving the needle forward?"
We’ve all seen the sports matches where the number 73 tennis seed smashes the world number 1.
We’ve seen the celebrity interviews that create controversy for months after the fact.
There’s a reason for this.
Showing up physically is completely different to showing up mentally.
- Showing up physically is routine, showing up mentally is discipline.
- Showing up physically is passion, showing up mentally is commitment.
- Showing up physically is easy, showing up mentally is often the last thing we want to do.
But as you might guess, showing up mentally is essential to create results - whether that’s winning a match, doing a competent interview, or producing high quality work.
At its core, this is a fundamental shift from busyness, quantity and appearance to intention, efficiency and impact.
Making the shift will raise the stakes and build a positive pressure.
For me, this has meant setting strict work hours and challenging myself to get my most important tasks done within that timeframe. It's meant saying no to non-essential meetings and learning to delegate.
It's also meant celebrating when I achieve my goals in less time, rather than feeling guilty about not working more.
Remember, your worth isn't determined by how many hours you work. It's determined by the value you create and the impact you have.
4. Plan for Fun
This is an idea that really challenged me when I first discovered it.
But it's proving to be absolutely crucial.
Schedule non-work activities in advance.
It doesn’t have to be much.
I’m starting with blocking out Sunday mornings for either a hike, brunch, coffee walk, or simply unstructured downtime.
Why is this so essential?
When you schedule fun into your calendar, you do three things:
- You signal to yourself that its a priority. You remind yourself of the truly important things in life. Most importantly, you affirm the belief that you can be successful and still enjoy life.
- You restrain the time available to allocate to work. This comes back to Parkinson's Law: When we set a time restraint, work expands to fill all available time. We fall into the trap of endless busy-work, justifying it as necessary or productive.
- You increase your creativity, innovation and productivity. Planned leisure gives our brains the rest and stimulation they need to perform at their best. It provides the space for creative insights and problem-solving that often elude us when we're heads-down in work mode.
So, pull out your calendar right now.
What fun, rejuvenating activities can you schedule for the coming week?
If you don't know what you find fun anymore, what do you want to try? What might you like?
The more you explore, the more you'll discover about yourself.
An Example to Prove it's Possible
Daniel Ek, Spotify's co-founder and CEO, works on average 6 hours a day.
He structures his workday into intense two-hour work blocks, typically completing just three of these blocks per day.
The rest of his time? It's dedicated to rest, reflection, and personal activities.
The result? Under Ek's leadership, Spotify has grown to over 350 million active users, completely revolutionising the music industry.
This strategy is effective because so much of Ek's role relies on strategic thinking and deep work.
His prioritisation of rest creates the space, mental energy and focus required to lead with confidence and strong decision-making (while creating a healthier, happier life).
And because his work blocks are limited to those 4-6 hours, he knows better than to do anything that doesn't make a real impact.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I know this is challenging. It goes against everything we've been conditioned to believe. "Hard work equals success," right?
But my message isn't: don't work hard.
It's: work like a crazy person when you're at your most productive, then allow yourself the time and space to recharge.
We're not assembly line workers - we can't operate like them. Knowledge work demands more than time - it requires energy and mental focus.
The most successful minds - writers, business owners, strategic thinkers, - often create their masterpieces in 4 hours of deep work. Not 8 hours of task switching and procrastination.
By focusing on what truly matters and giving yourself permission to step away, you'll not only be more productive – you'll be happier and more fulfilled.
This week, I challenge you to implement just one step from the system above. Notice how it impacts your productivity and, more importantly, how it makes you feel.
And if it helps, know that I'm on this journey right alongside you - growing, learning and challenging myself every day.
Here's to another week becoming the best version of you.
Tayla
P.S. Did this newsletter resonate with you? Hit reply and let me know which step you're going to implement this week. I'd love to hear about your experiences and offer any support I can!
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